Playgrounds can be pretty horrible places to be. I am glad my children have always been happy to stand in them and play with their friends but for me I have disliked my experience of the school playground. When my eldest son was in his first primary school the playground was a procession of best dressed, best make up, best car, who had the fanciest holidays and designer wellies. Though I had a good job with a good wage for Cornwall I could not compete with the doctors, dentists and those who had husbands that worked in London. Plus because I worked full time, often evenings too I was not at school everyday so I seemed to miss all the initial playground bonding. Whilst I like to think that people don't purely judge on what others have, they certainly did in this playground, inclusion was a word you just didn't hear. I spent so many hours standing on my own feeling awkward but in the same sense determined that my son wouldnt pick up on this. It may not seem like you are there for long in the great scheme of things but when you are so incredibly uncomfortable the time ticks so slowly, plus with three children aged 12, 6 and 4 thats a lot of years to stand in a playground. What I did start to notice was that there were a couple of other awkward and uncomfortable mums like me. So each time I was at school I sought them out and they made school more bearable for me. Though the discomfort was still there because the environment didnt change, those friends meant I had someone to feel isolated with!
During year 4 we moved house and changed my son's primary school but due to their age and new found independence most of the other children walked home or got straight in their cars so again a missed chance to bond with the other parents. Then after Christmas that year my daughter started pre-school and I found myself being welcomed by other mums and dads and the playground became a place I happily spent time chatting with other parents. My daughters school journey has been an incredible journey for me too. I am lucky (after a couple of years of my daughter attending school) to call these other mums and dads my friends. They are people who offer their time and compassion to us as a family. A lovely example was a day we spent at the Eden Project during half term. Each half term they put on a child focused activity and this week was all about Stick Man, a character from a Julia Donaldson book. 22 of us managed to attend and it was a mix of parents and children, including tweens, pre schoolers and babies. The day went so well and we all mucked in with each others children. My eldest son told me I am lucky to have such nice friends and he is so right and that makes me feel incredibly thankful for experiencing the negative side of the playground. Without that I don't think I could appreciate what I have now.
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